dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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