Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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