did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
