some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
