Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
