she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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