Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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