Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
