White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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