there was a trapeze. enough said
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
