So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
