Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
