you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
