He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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