But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize