a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
