Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
