if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
