Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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