I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
