If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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