See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
