My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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