That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
