i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Houston, we have a blender
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
