im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize