you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My ass is underappreciated
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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