That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
