I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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