You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
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