If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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