I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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