I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
