I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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