It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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