What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
