Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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