should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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