I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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