I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
