do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
try to milk me bitch
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