Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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