Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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