THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
