The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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