What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
