ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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