Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize