I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
