I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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