The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
